Whoa.

Feb. 22nd, 2017 06:24 pm
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (Default)
I say it every time, but it's true every time: it's been AGES since I last posted.

So much has happened, though looking back at it, it seems like piddly stuff.

Also, I forgot how to code a cut, so I apologize in advance for the length.

Boychild: IS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Seriously, where the eff does the time go?! He VOTED in November. (Not for the JOKE currently in office, TYVM. Kid is a hard-ass lefty. Why, yes - I AM proud of it.)

He also has been on meds since about September of 2015; he definitely hits the ADHD scale, though noticeably without the H. Doc's got him on 20 mgs of Adderall a day, with 5 mg supplements as needed after school for homework. It has definitely helped to start, though he may actually need to up it a little, as we are still having to drag him through getting homework turned in and remembering things.

Hubby: Had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in March 2015. He's since lost about 200 lbs, can buy clothes at regular stores now, and no longer hits the diabetic scale. He was off all diabetic meds within a couple months of the surgery. He is basically the poster boy for "Doing This Right;" I've never seen a surgeon bounce on his toes with pleasure before.

He's hit a plateau now, and has fallen off the diet changes a little, but is getting back on track now with this unseasonably nice weather. It's been a total life change for him, and he's really happy about all of it.

Me & Food: As part of the process (and in the name of being supportive), I started watching my diet, too. I hated every effing second of it and it didn't matter that I continued to lose weight, it took all the effing joy out of food and I hated everyone and everything. We bond over food, come together as a society over food, and having to watch it carefully like that - and deny myself of everything I love because everything that tastes good to me is "bad" - is the absolute worst. And it was harder, too, because Hubby was having the easiest time of it, and couldn't understand how it could possibly be difficult. I stayed silent about a lot of my anger over it.

I had actually started losing weight the previous August (2014); suffice it to say I had a week where Imodium was not working, so I just had to suffer through it. I must have lost ten to fifteen pounds that week alone, and so I continued to lay off the soda so much and stopped eating the snack cakes and stuff entirely. So when hubby started his pre-op diet, I started actually using the My Fitness Pal app every day, and it mostly sucked. I was almost always hungry, meals generally did not last me till the next one. I had enough calories available to me that I could have snacks, but I really had to watch it. I'd switched to diet sodas, which sucks because they all taste terrible, but I want soda more than I want to avoid the taste, and regular soda has too many calories, so-.

Since then, I've lost a total of about 80 lbs, give or take 5, and gone down 6 pants sizes and 3 shirt sizes (depending on the brand). Other noticeable changes are that I can sit in a chair with arms and the arms no longer dig into my thighs, and all my rings are too big, as they keep sliding around my fingers willy-nilly.

I don't religiously record my calories each day, and I stopped denying myself of all the things I love, because I've always said that's no way to diet. I do try to be very reasonable about how much I eat, and I try to avoid too much bread, because it's a freaking killer (even though it's OMGSODELICIOUS). I may not be actively losing weight now, but I'm also not gaining it back, so I'm much happier. We try to walk more, too.

Work: Never dull. I've done so much since my last work-related post. We've lost two supervisors, a manager, another supervisor, and plenty of people have retired because they just couldn't deal with the stress anymore. Another one is leaving in the next 45 days or so. It's sad, but maybe it will help mgmt (wishful thinking, right?) to reorganize the way they want. Some things are better, others are as bad as usual. But hey, I've got 18 years under my belt now, and am currently only minorly stressed, so I'll stick with it.

Also, I now work from home full time. It's AWESOME. They provided us zero clients, two monitors, keyboard, mouse, all necessary wires, a really decent phone with a headset, and anything off our desks we needed; I came home with well over $1.5K worth of equipment. We have flex time on top of this, so as long as I get my 40 hours in M-F between 6A and 6P, I can do it almost any way I like. This, of course, means I roll out of bed around 5:45 in the morning, lurch into the bathroom, pull on pants and shirt, then stumble to my desk, turn on the computer, and clock in by 6:00 AM. It is the BEST THING EVER.

I might not have gone home full time, though, without my two best friends leaving. One (CK) quit September 2014...about 3 hours after I unwittingly provided the clinching argument for it. He is SO. MUCH. HAPPIER. now; it is amazing how relaxed he is now without this place eating holes in his stomach lining, among other things. We try to get out for lunch or dinner (and in one case, breakfast) every other month or so, and chat via FB messenger quite a bit - which is good, because it took me a long time to get used to not having him there at work.

And in November 2015, the other (MG) quit. Also a good thing, she was much happier at a new place - understandably, as my current coworkers, by and large, were absolute DICKS to her the entire time she was employed. An old supervisor (who, incidentally, was fired for having sex on her desk and bragging about it, and also for calling someone in mgmt a "bitch" in an email that replied to all instead of one person) had actually known MG, and told everybody so, and so most people assumed MG only got the job because she knew said supervisor...and everyone hated that supervisor, to be clear. It was awful. So MG finally left, but now I can't even see her like I used to because she moved out of state in December 2016. So sad.

Other Stuff: Dad had a heart attack Thanksgiving night, but is doing okay now; it wasn't massive, and the blockages, which range anywhere from 30-80%, are all down in the smaller vessels at the bottom of the heart, where they can't put stents anyway, so they're treating medically. He's doing taxes again for H&R Block, managing only one office this year instead of two. And thrilled as hell, because he and Mom turn 62 this year and are taking early Social Security, so he won't have to work at all next year.

Mom's doing well; good days and bad days with fibro and diabetes. She had a month-long bout with seizures in August 2013, but hasn't had any since then, and is now off the seizure med entirely. She's mostly back to baseline (by which I mean she feels as good as she did before the seizures, but has less of a filter). The seizures at the time seemed to have caused a metric shit-ton of brain damage, but she gained all of her faculties back for the most part.

One of my sisters is pregnant with her fourth child, another had her second a few years ago. Yet another is happily living with her boyfriend. And the other one is still living with our parents.

TV: Missing DWTS right about now, but loving BBT still, as well as Flash, Mom, Two Broke Girls, and Brooklyn 9-9. Also really enjoying The Grand Tour on Amazon. Have also finally started watching bits and pieces of HIMYM with Boychild. Pretty good.

Man, I forgot how time can fly when you're typing up a post like this!

I hope everything is well with all of you! ♥
psyche29: little girl watching something with an uncertain look on her face (mary secret garden)
Thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions regarding Boychild. There were several points made that I would not have considered on my own, and I really, really appreciate the support, no matter how large or small.

I called his health plan's member services today to ask them where and how to start. We don't need a referral for this kind of thing according to them, so I said where I'd like to take him, they told me it was perfectly okay to take him there, and gave me a phone number. The clinic is closed on Fridays, so I'll be calling them on Monday to start the ball rolling.

I am anxious to get going, and - somewhat selfishly - to stop being upset with him so much. He seems to have inherited several of the issues my sister deals with, which just adds a whole new level of irritation for me. He is different enough, though, that I don't look at him and only see my sister, so that's something.

I am aware that this is very vague and that the way I explain things is not quite chronological or coherent; I always find I'm leaving things out. There are so many feelings and thoughts that go into everything that I'm not certain I know the best way to lay them out. I'm not averse to discussing anything, so if you're curious or have a question, by all means, ask.

And if you don't, that's okay, too. ;)

I think I better think up a tag for this. And maybe go get some hair dye, because there are more white ones there than I am willing to continue seeing.

HELP.

Dec. 1st, 2012 02:59 pm
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (harder to breathe)
Okay, so.

I am feeling stupid and useless and sheepish and embarrassed about this. I shouldn't, it's not my fault, it's not his fault, blah blah blah, but--.

Does anybody have any knowledge or suggestions or experience or opinions with getting a child tested for possible mental or emotional disorders?

I am--. I don't even know how to explain. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

Boychild is fourteen years old, but there is so very little he does that makes me think he is developing normally. Hubby is finally starting to see my point, and I just. I don't know what to do. Do I take him to his regular doctor first? It's not physical, but does that matter? I am just at a loss.

This kid cannot ever answer a question with more than "I don't know" or "Meh" and a shrug. When we ask him what he's thinking, he is at a loss for words and cannot tell us. He hates reading, sincerely believes we are punishing him when we expect him to do so, but swears up one side and down the other that reading is not hard for him. He cannot understand vocabulary that I know eight-year-olds can grasp (he had to ask today what "extra-mild" meant!!!!), and his social skills are on par with kindergarteners.

I love that he is a fairly happy kid, but he is FOURTEEN, not six!! I love that he is not embarrassed to be seen with us and that he is affectionate and loving, but he thinks it is appropriate to group hug in the middle of a grocery store aisle and giggles like a lunatic when we try to inform him seriously that now is not the time. Which, of course, makes me feel like a slug. BUT FOURTEEN!!!

He repeatedly tells the same jokes over and over again, long after everyone is sick and tired of hearing them, and never grasps that no one is laughing anymore. Then he gets upset when someone tells him it's not funny anymore and says that no one ever thinks he's funny! I don't get it!

We still have to tell him - every single morning - that he must put on deodorant. He has needed to do so since he was nine. Should he not be doing it on his own by now? We have to remind him, and then he does it extremely grudgingly. He likes showers, but has never once taken one of his own volition. We have to tell him to do so, and he sighs like we're expecting him to bring us the moon. He seems perfectly happy being filthy. How is that even remotely normal for a teenage boy?

He continues to do things we've repeatedly asked him not to do, and laughs like it's hilarious when we get upset that he's doing it again.

I feel so angry with him all the time, and I hate it so much. But I feel that this goes so far beyond my own impatience. There is something so very, very wrong, and I don't know where to start looking for help. Looking at the criteria list for ADD and ADHD, I think that he doesn't hit the ADHD requirements, but he does hit every. single. item. on the ADD list, but I just don't think that explains everything.

So. Please. Tell me your thoughts. Tell me your experiences if applicable, and your ideas and suggestions. I am starting to think that we must be unfit parents. I'm not looking for reassurance or accolades or anything like that, just-. I am so not equipped for this. Help us. Please. If he needs help, I want to get it for him. I just don't know how.

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psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (Default)
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