psyche29: little girl watching something with an uncertain look on her face (mary secret garden)
Thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions regarding Boychild. There were several points made that I would not have considered on my own, and I really, really appreciate the support, no matter how large or small.

I called his health plan's member services today to ask them where and how to start. We don't need a referral for this kind of thing according to them, so I said where I'd like to take him, they told me it was perfectly okay to take him there, and gave me a phone number. The clinic is closed on Fridays, so I'll be calling them on Monday to start the ball rolling.

I am anxious to get going, and - somewhat selfishly - to stop being upset with him so much. He seems to have inherited several of the issues my sister deals with, which just adds a whole new level of irritation for me. He is different enough, though, that I don't look at him and only see my sister, so that's something.

I am aware that this is very vague and that the way I explain things is not quite chronological or coherent; I always find I'm leaving things out. There are so many feelings and thoughts that go into everything that I'm not certain I know the best way to lay them out. I'm not averse to discussing anything, so if you're curious or have a question, by all means, ask.

And if you don't, that's okay, too. ;)

I think I better think up a tag for this. And maybe go get some hair dye, because there are more white ones there than I am willing to continue seeing.

HELP.

Dec. 1st, 2012 02:59 pm
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (harder to breathe)
Okay, so.

I am feeling stupid and useless and sheepish and embarrassed about this. I shouldn't, it's not my fault, it's not his fault, blah blah blah, but--.

Does anybody have any knowledge or suggestions or experience or opinions with getting a child tested for possible mental or emotional disorders?

I am--. I don't even know how to explain. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

Boychild is fourteen years old, but there is so very little he does that makes me think he is developing normally. Hubby is finally starting to see my point, and I just. I don't know what to do. Do I take him to his regular doctor first? It's not physical, but does that matter? I am just at a loss.

This kid cannot ever answer a question with more than "I don't know" or "Meh" and a shrug. When we ask him what he's thinking, he is at a loss for words and cannot tell us. He hates reading, sincerely believes we are punishing him when we expect him to do so, but swears up one side and down the other that reading is not hard for him. He cannot understand vocabulary that I know eight-year-olds can grasp (he had to ask today what "extra-mild" meant!!!!), and his social skills are on par with kindergarteners.

I love that he is a fairly happy kid, but he is FOURTEEN, not six!! I love that he is not embarrassed to be seen with us and that he is affectionate and loving, but he thinks it is appropriate to group hug in the middle of a grocery store aisle and giggles like a lunatic when we try to inform him seriously that now is not the time. Which, of course, makes me feel like a slug. BUT FOURTEEN!!!

He repeatedly tells the same jokes over and over again, long after everyone is sick and tired of hearing them, and never grasps that no one is laughing anymore. Then he gets upset when someone tells him it's not funny anymore and says that no one ever thinks he's funny! I don't get it!

We still have to tell him - every single morning - that he must put on deodorant. He has needed to do so since he was nine. Should he not be doing it on his own by now? We have to remind him, and then he does it extremely grudgingly. He likes showers, but has never once taken one of his own volition. We have to tell him to do so, and he sighs like we're expecting him to bring us the moon. He seems perfectly happy being filthy. How is that even remotely normal for a teenage boy?

He continues to do things we've repeatedly asked him not to do, and laughs like it's hilarious when we get upset that he's doing it again.

I feel so angry with him all the time, and I hate it so much. But I feel that this goes so far beyond my own impatience. There is something so very, very wrong, and I don't know where to start looking for help. Looking at the criteria list for ADD and ADHD, I think that he doesn't hit the ADHD requirements, but he does hit every. single. item. on the ADD list, but I just don't think that explains everything.

So. Please. Tell me your thoughts. Tell me your experiences if applicable, and your ideas and suggestions. I am starting to think that we must be unfit parents. I'm not looking for reassurance or accolades or anything like that, just-. I am so not equipped for this. Help us. Please. If he needs help, I want to get it for him. I just don't know how.
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (harder to breathe)
So OK, I'm just hyperventilating a little while I wait for this phone call.

Cut for story of woe and maybe a little bit of hope. )

I feel like a never-ending story of tragedy - I really have to post about positive things once in a while. I'll work on it. :)
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (care so little)
It's 2:16 PM and I am nearly asleep here at my desk. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why.

Once the EVILCRAMPSFROMHELL morphed from "severe" into "tolerable" last night, I got plenty of sleep. Even getting up three times to go to the bathroom.

You know, of my 28 Vicodin pills, I've only taken six and a half. Since Monday. And none of them actually made me tired. Do you think they're all catching up with me now?

I wondered, because I keep catching myself doing that head-bob thing that my dad does in church - or at other various functions - when he's bored senseless. And then you nudge him and he wakes up and wipes the corner of his mouth because he's realized there's a little bit of drool there and goes, "Huh-whaaaa?" And you say, "Wake up, you were sleeping." And he retorts, "Nuh-uh, I was praying." Very seriously, like he fully believes God will buy it.

Anyway, I keep catching myself doing that at my desk. My mouth and my uterus are ganging up on me right now, but I'm afraid to take another half Vicodin (I haven't taken any at all yet today) because what if it has me sprawled across my desk, no longer head-bobbing and catching myself at it, but flat out sleeping with drool pooling beneath my cheek? Because for real, I drool when I sleep.

Oooh, news flash, Chunk just brought me a bite of his cake. Heather brought him cake while he was on lunch and told me to tell him it was from her and so I put a note on it that said "from Heather! Yummy! I want some, too." And he just brought it to me and let me have a bite. I just wanted the frosting because OMFGFROSTING, HELLO. It was good.

But seriously, now - do I avoid the half a Vicodin? Because I'm back to head-bobbing.
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (to do list)
OK, here's the deal: I found a job opening within my company that I think I could totally do. I checked with a few people whose opinions I trust, and among them, they not only think I could absolutely do it, but that the hiring managers would be idiots not to take me. Don't worry, I am not letting these opinions swell my head.

After also informing my poor supervisor that I was thinking of applying, he read the listing and said, "Oh my God, do it." I think it breaks his heart a little, because I know he needs me, which breaks my heart a little, but-.

So, on to applying. It gives me OPTIONS. I can "upload a new resumé," "copy and paste resumé text," or "apply online without a resumé."

Problems:

1. What's the better plan, here? Do I use a resumé, or apply online without one? I'm already an employee of the company; this would be a promotion (two job classes above my own), but I wouldn't be an outside applicant.

2. I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MYSELF SOUND WORTH IT IN A RESUMÉ!!!

3. I have to apply by Thursday, which is when the job listing closes.

PEOPLE WITH RESUMÉ OR HIRING EXPERIENCE - PLEASE HELP ME!

I'm actually very aware that I may not get the job, nor are my hopes hanging on being accepted - but if I do this, then I want to make an effort and know that even if I'm not offered the job, it wasn't because I was too stupid to know how to do these things.
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (return of my King)
Sorry to hear you are having a rough night of homework. The math can be confusing. Math nowadays is taught very differently than when we were in school, and the expectations of 5th grade learning are much higher too. I will get time with Mikey tomorrow and go over the work. Don't worry about it tonight.

As far as the math text... We have textbooks, but they aren't the kind of book that explains things. The first sheet attached to the homework sheet is actually the textbook copied off for the students so they can take notes on it to help them with homework. Not the best scenario, but it's the best we have :(

Hope this helps some. If it makes you feel better, we are moving on to geometry next week :)

Thanks for contacting me! That's what I'm here for.


I have to say, I love teachers who understand why it's frustrating and who get back to you very quickly.

My response to this:

Thanks for the math reassurance. It's all I can do not to just chuck it off the balcony. It's also kind of humiliating to admit to your own kid that you can't help him because you're not really smart enough for it. I know that's not the intent, I know that times change, but that's what it feels like from our end.

And thanks for being so quick to get back to us; I'd be worried all night and all tomorrow that he'd get in trouble for not doing it when the truth is that we simply couldn't help him.

Thanks so much!
psyche29: A brown eye with rainbow eyeliner all around it (marvin hmph)
Dear Mikey's Teacher:

Good evening. We are extremely upset and frustrated this evening because we can't help Mikey with his math. This is not stuff we know, is not stuff we have any way in the world of remembering, AND the fifth grade website thing for the school doesn't work. We're searching online for "factor puzzles," trying to find a way to learn this - which makes the whole situation even worse. Mikey's absolutely stuck, can't even tell us what he was told in class, and what seems like an obvious answer to me is bogged down by little, superfluous details.

What are all those little lines around the square? What do they have to do with anything? I'm looking at number 14 on the worksheet, and I think the answer inside the box is 12. 5 times 3 is 15, so 4 times 3 would be 12. 4/5 is the same as 12/15. Why does it have to be more difficult than this? DOES it have to be more difficult than this? We found something that was talking about prime numbers in relation to a factor square, but it just seemed like far more info than was necessary when I can see the answer is simply 12.

Beyond having to go back to school just to help this poor kid with his math, what do you suggest we do? Mikey said the kids don't have math textbooks, then amended it when we didn't believe him to "well, I think we do, but we don't use them." Why not? Is this text book something he could bring home that would help us to understand so we can guide him in the right direction?

Please forgive my abruptness; I'm generally not an unhappy person, but this is so, so frustrating. Please help, we just don't know what else to do.

Mikey's Mom and Dad


This is the email I just sent her, only I obviously used her name in the greeting and signed it with our names in the closing.

So. Pissed. Off. Right. Now.
psyche29: Hobbes (the tiger from Calvin and Hobbes) with his hands in the air, grinning and sparkles all around, text "squee" (squee)
1. OMFG-OMFG-OMFG-OMFG-OMFG, THEY'RE GIVING ME LEAD PAY!! BEGINNING MONDAY, I GET FOUR HOURS OF LEAD PAY EVERY DAY, WHICH IS AN EXTRA DOLLAR AN HOUR FOR EACH OF THOSE FOUR HOURS!! TOTAL CAPSLOCK HAPPY BOOGIE DANCE! Seriously, I had NO faith whatsoever that this would be coming any time soon, if ever. And here today, Sue laid it out for me. No trap, no nothing. Just FINALLY, acknowledgment that I do so much more than my fair share around work. SO. RIDICULOUSLY. PLEASED.

2. That doesn't lessen my work load, sadly, but it's a HUGE step in the right direction...especially as I'm the first to whom they've given this. Ever.

3. Also, I'm supposed to move back down to the other end, but split my stuff between the non-desk and the big desk. Sue hasn't quite thought this through, but she'll get with the program soon enough. I hope. She's as stubborn as I am when it comes to being right.

4. I can't find my paint shop pro, so I spent some of my lunch hour fiddling around with Paint.net and made a few avatars. Use what you like, as you like. Credit would be lovely, but isn't hugely necessary.

Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket


The third one is the last part of 1 Corinthians 13:13. The fourth I made up. And the fifth is part of a quote by..uh... *goes to look it up* ...Erica Jong from O Magazine in February of 2004: "Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for." In case you wondered. :)

I may make more later this weekend. And perhaps I'll post them to that community I joined...if I figure out the rules and what they mean... (Beth, that was a hint for help...)

5. Um. I can't remember what I was- OH. I finished my seventh book of the year today. I'm not really on a goal or anything to read a specific number this year, but I know some of you are, so I wondered where you're at compared to me. Out of a ridiculous abundance of curiosity, I guess. Indulge me.

6. Oh, and those of you who care about hair and fashion and the like? HELP ME. It is winter, it is cold, the air is brittle. MY HAIR IS SO STATICKY THAT I'M SHOCKING MYSELF EVERY-DAMN-WHERE. What will help this without weighing down or destroying my hair? Or making me need to wash it every damn day, which only exacerbates the problem? I can't keep sticking lotion in it. That doesn't destroy it, but it does weigh it down and make it get oilier faster. I'm looking for a specific product, I suppose - but please keep in mind that I am a NO-maintenance type of girl. I wash my hair, I condition it, I go. I own neither a curling iron nor a hair dryer. I suppose I could pick up a dryer if I must, but UGH.

Also - my hair is already stick-straight and baby fine (and has oily tendencies at the scalp) , but I've heard that a straightener might help. Any tips or ideas or corrections on that? A straightener is more work than I am probably willing to put into it, but seriously, this is ridiculous. I pull a brush through my hair, and it just goes everywhere, sticks everywhere. Uncool, uncomfy, makes me look stupid. And I don't own a comb, though I doubt it'd make a huge difference. I need to know what to do. PLEASE HELP.

7. Waffle breakfast tomorrow. Completely incredible pecan syrup, here I come. Wonder if they'll notice me sneaking the huge bottle out inside my coat? Maybe I oughtn't, it's in a church, after all... *snerk*

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