Spontaneous Dentohydroplosion.

[psyche29]

It has been a very long time since I posted, regularly or otherwise - life gets hectic and things fall by the wayside. For me, journaling is one of them.

I've been spurred, however, by superbeffie to begin blogging my reactions to watching The Office for the first time ever. I have so far had her laughing and also screaming/scaring her family (????). I don't know why this might happen, but am sure I will eventually find out!

So, Office fans: If I can figure out again how cuts and journaling in general work, I'll post them here, and make it public so y'all may share as you like.

That said, please keep in mind:

1. I literally just started this show. It is the US version. I know I am WELL behind the times.
2. I know about Jim and Pam, so don't worry about spoiling me on that score. I am looking forward to the evolution.
3. I got the whole first season (six episodes only?) completed before I began messaging superbeffie to talk, so you're coming in after a bit of binge-watching.


Thoughts from Season 1, before I begin posting my convo with superbeffie:
- I found myself uncomfortable a lot. Like, this is a really, intensely unprofessional business and workplace. Union or not, if any of this happened in my workplace, we'd all be so fired. So. Fired.
- I have been disenchanted with Roy from the word go.
- I have to keep telling myself that these are not real people, that they are meant to be wild caricatures of management and employees.
- I feel the need to encase the office supplies of other people in jello.
- And make up diseases. Spontaneous dento-hydroplosion!

Season 2
psyche29/psyche29: You've watched The Office, right?

superbeffie: Oh honey, yes.

psyche29/psyche29: Okay, can I please talk to you about it? I finally started it last night.

superbeffie: Yes!
Just now???? OMG

psyche29/psyche29: So is Michael horrid alllll the way through the show? Does he ever get better? Jesus Christ!
I just started season 2, The Dundies awards at Chili's.

superbeffie: Michael... is Michael. It’s hard to explain how much you end up loving that insufferable dipshit.
THE DUNDIES!!!!
Oh, reliving.

psyche29/psyche29: I'm half giggling and half going, "Good effing Christ, are there actually workplaces like this?!"

superbeffie: You notice how even though he’s terrible and they want to kill him, they all defend him when those guys are dicks?
That is my relationship with Michael. He’s terrible, but he’s my terrible so fuck off! Lol!
And it does get better tbh. And you realize that he kind of can’t help it.

psyche29/psyche29: Lol - so far, I mostly like him, but would have quit six times over if I worked for him.
And every single time I'm in a place with cameras now and someone says something insane or stupid, I'm just going to stare blandly at the camera, because it's such a perfect response, I think.

superbeffie: Jim Halpert is the love of my life.

psyche29/psyche29: YES. I was in love with Jim the minute I realized he's got this massive crush on Pam. I know they end up together, so I'm looking forward to the evolution of that.

superbeffie: Alllll the hearts.

psyche29/psyche29: Pam's sucking down the drinks, oh man. She’s tipsy, if not drunk. How has she not dumped Roy yet? He's a dick!

superbeffie: Ugh. Roy. Don’t even get me started.

psyche29/psyche29: "I feel God in this Chili's tonight! Whoo!" SHE KISSED JIM. And he totally didn't make a big deal about it because HOW IS HE REAL, OH MY GOD. I love him.

superbeffie: Welcome aboard. Lol!

psyche29/psyche29: She was sneaking drinks off other people's tables and is now banned, oh God. 😂😂😂

superbeffie: I love that guy! I call him the Dwight of Chili’s.

psyche29/psyche29: Fitting!!
Jim is so ridiculously in love with her. It is painfully adorable.
Is Kelly Mindy Kaling?!

superbeffie: Sometimes it’s just painful.
YESSSSS!!!!
This is where she got started!

psyche29/psyche29: Oh man, I love her.

superbeffie: Oh, this is going to be fun.

psyche29/psyche29: Hee! Thanks for letting me gab at you. I don’t know anyone else who watches it, really. Oh boy, next up is Sexual Harrassment. It's gotta be about Michael.

superbeffie: That episode will change your life. 😂😂😂

psyche29/psyche29: Ooh, I also wanted to say I recognize the main guy from the loading dock. He plays Doug Judy on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, very cool.

superbeffie: Daryl!

psyche29/psyche29: Yes!

superbeffie: God this is fun for me. Thank you for choosing superbeffie for all your fangirl needs.

psyche29/psyche29: Lol! "Who has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom?!" 🤣

superbeffie: Who has 2 thumbs and hates Todd Packer??

psyche29/psyche29: This girl!!
Lol! He plays such a great douche.
Okay, so is Michael single the whole time, and lonely? He strikes me as lonely. It feels like he doesn't get human interaction except through work, which would explain the complete lack of skill in peopling.
God, I'm theorizing. I need to stop.
Oh my God Dwight, wtf?! He's just asked Toby where the clitoris is! *facepalm*
Michael just told Phyllis he was in danger of getting a boner! THIS MGR, GOOD GRIEF!

superbeffie: 😂😂😂
But you see why in their own way they love him. He’s ridiculous but he tries so hard.

psyche29/psyche29: SO hard!

superbeffie: Like tragically hard.

psyche29/psyche29: The Dunder-Mifflin Olympiad was amusing, especially Angela (female-Dwight?) telling Pam about Pam-Pong.

superbeffie: Angela. Oh, Angela. 😂😂😂
Oh god, you don’t even know.

psyche29/psyche29: I don't know anything! She seems like such an uptight swot!
That poor temp, Ryan. He's always so uncomfortable. Oh God, he just said so! Lol!

superbeffie: I’m going to agree with my husband’s assessment here. You need to live blog this. The world should get to share in someone’s first Office experience.

psyche29/psyche29: Lol!
Jim would do Kevin and watch bowling!!! 😂😂😂
Pam's trying not to say she'd do Jim.

superbeffie: Ummmm oscars kinda cute?

psyche29/psyche29: Lol! She's all, "Toby?" And the others are shaking their heads!
Pam is in total and complete denial of her feelings for Jim, isn't she?

superbeffie: Poor kid.
But Amy Adams!!!!

psyche29/psyche29: Amy Adams just arrived! I keep pausing it so I can type my thoughts!
Poor Ryan, "the fire guy."
Time for Halloween. He has to fire someone. Oh, man.

superbeffie: I’m crying laughing over here.

psyche29/psyche29: "Wish I could fire Sherri." "Uh, I'm still here."

superbeffie: Snort.

psyche29/psyche29: He doesn't know who to fire, so he's trying to ferret out opinions from others!
*snorts out a laugh* Three-hole-punch Jim.
I would murder Dwight six ways to Sunday, but he is also my inner effing geek, so it's a little like hating myself. Dammit!
THEY'RE PUTTING DWIGHT'S RESUME ON CAREER SITES.
I love how they fuck with him!

superbeffie: Spontaneous dental hydroplosion.

psyche29/psyche29: Yes! I loved that. Oh no, Pam made brownies. Jesus, Angela, wtf?
Can she and Dwight just go fuck some stress out of each other? Maybe they'd both relax a bit. Jesus.
Oh wait, no inter-office relationships. Bah.
Lol, Angela WOULD give out toothbrushes.

superbeffie: Please. Please. Please. Blog this. Please.

psyche29/psyche29: I don't have a blog!

superbeffie: Start one. Or at least keep all these thoughts organized and publish it at the end. Because this shit is gold.
You have no idea. I just screamed. I scared my family.

psyche29/psyche29: Sorry, superbeffie's family!
Lol - it'll just be our messages. *snorts out a laugh*

superbeffie: You’ll understand one day.

psyche29/psyche29: Lol, Jim is being Michael! "Regional manager of this ORIFICE." Oh, God.
Lol, it's about the resumes they put out for Dwight!
Air high five!
No, they didn't fire Stanley!
NO! FUCKERS. FIND SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW YET.
Or. OR! Fire Roy, make my life better!

superbeffie: Not warehouse.
But good try.

psyche29/psyche29: "How did you get my resume? What does it say under martial arts training?"

superbeffie: LMAOOOOO

psyche29/psyche29: "Of course martial arts training is relevant!!"
Uh-oh, he's not firing Jim! No!
Oh, just asking for help. Whew!
Michael is a misogynistic dick, but he's got a heart under there, he really doesn't want to fire anyone. Aww, the vampire?

superbeffie: He really does.
It’s why we all secretly love him even though he’s the worst

psyche29/psyche29: "Shot the deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took an hour."
Who is Devon?

superbeffie: No one who matters.

psyche29/psyche29: Oh, good.
Lol, now he's working Michael over.

superbeffie: Creed talking him out of it though. 😂😂😂

psyche29/psyche29: A gift certificate to Chili's! Lol!
Jim is literally only staying for Pam! Jesus. I want to eat him up.
A fight? Oh jeez Michael, no.

superbeffie: Oh, boy.

psyche29/psyche29: Dwight's desk is missing, Jim is totally fucking with him ("Where's the last place you saw it?" 😂), and the entire office is just watching with no smiles, like gee, what's going to happen? TROLLS. They are all master-level trolls! 😂
Colder! Warmer!
Oh God it's in the loo! 😂😂😂😂
"Wash your hands, Kevin!"

superbeffie: The cold opens kill me.
When he answers the phone! 😂😂😂

psyche29/psyche29: Yes! He is so easy to fuck with.
"Was that your mom?"
"I call it the perfect storm."
"Stop Pam-M-S-ing?" Jesus. It's not even hard work, he can't initial and sign some things? Oh Jesus Christ on stilts, I'd kill him.
Jim stole Dwight's purple belt!
The Schrutes are a line of fighters!
Dwight: "Let me take you from behind!" Kelly: "Wait, what?"

superbeffie: 😂😂😂

psyche29/psyche29: Does he ALWAYS say "tit for tit?" *snorts out a laugh*
Am remembering Jim telling him that's not actually the phrase in the first season, and Dwight's like, "It should be."

superbeffie: Are you watching The Client yet?

psyche29/psyche29: Nope, they're in the dojo now. I keep rewinding.

superbeffie: Rofl!
Get to it. Because oh, my Jesus.

psyche29/psyche29: Phyllis is taking photos!
Jim and Pam are all wary of each other now.
"Just put 911 as my emergency contact. The. Hospital."
Oh God, he called Michael 'sensei.'

superbeffie: Snort.
The Client yet??

psyche29/psyche29: Just started, had to start dinner. He dry-cleans his jeans? Wtf?
Hey, why is Dwight's tie over his shoulder half the time?
Jim looks thrilled at working there for years! Lol!

superbeffie: 😂

psyche29/psyche29: Oh, my God, Roy left Pam at the arena!
Hey, the client is Rhodey!
Jan's trying to be all business, and he's just all over the place.
Pam just found Michael's screenplay!

superbeffie: Brown Probe! 😂😂😂
Agent Michael Scarn!!!!!

psyche29/psyche29: Lol!
Oh God, they are having a table-read!

superbeffie: You’re gonna snort.
Roland Chang

psyche29/psyche29: He left in a "Dwigt." Lol!

superbeffie: "Agent Michael Scarn. You so funny. Word."

psyche29/psyche29: "You so funny!" Lol, Samuel L Chang!
Oh, no one makes her dinner! Bad Roy!
Poor Jan is so bored, and the client is totally down with Michael as he is!
Aww, they're sharing music!
Is Jan drunk?

superbeffie: Wouldn’t you be?

psyche29/psyche29: Oh God, they both are!!
Dwight's in his underpants!! Sleeping in the office!
"No, nothing happened." 😂
Michael keeps giggling like an idiot.

superbeffie: Heeeeeee 😂😂😂

psyche29/psyche29: "I miss you. What?" 😂😂
Oh man, he thinks it's a relationship and she's like fuck no. God damn, I feel bad for him but don't want to, what is this show?

superbeffie: There’s no explanation.

psyche29/psyche29: Oops, Jim just stuck his foot in it.
Knowing head shakes between Jim and Michael, perfect.
I am being dragged along in this Jim/Pam thing, aren't I?

superbeffie: Absolutely, you are.

psyche29/psyche29: *nods knowingly*
Stopping for the evening, but will message more as I continue watching. 👍👍

superbeffie: Lol!

psyche29/psyche29: I just realized I have both a Dreamwidth and a LiveJournal, so I could post there. 😂 Obviously not this moment, as my own job actually exists, but-.

superbeffie: I love it!

Will post more as I continue binge watching. 👍