This is where I prove what a bitch I am...

[psyche29]

My sister just came in my room. "There was a box for you on the doorstep." She hands it to Matt and leaves.

We open it, and inside is a wrapped Christmas present for Michael.

From Vickie.

Allow me to explain - Vickie is another sister. She is Mikey's biological mother. She is in jail, serving a sentence for criminal sexual conduct in the first degree. In smaller words, she was over 18 and screwed an 11-year-old.

Mikey doesn't know what she did, he only knows she's in jail because she did something she oughtn't have. He's still under the impression that she's a great playmate.

I don't take him to see her. Jail is not an ideal environment for him, nor for any child (as far as I'm concerned). And even talking with her is difficult for him, because he's unable to understand why it is she's there. He's only just nine, and I don't believe he's able to understand the ramifications of what she did.

So she's supposed to discuss - with me - any time she wants to even speak with him, much less send him something. Did anyone tell me about this newest gift?

NOOOOO.

Why would anybody do something as simple as THAT? Is it really so difficult to understand that she has NO claim over him, over anything that has to do with him? She lost that right the minute he was taken away from her at three months old. She insists she loves him, but is completely unable to see that she isn't what he needs, what's good for him, not in any way.

She's my sister and I love her, but I don't like her, and would go out of my way to stay as far away from her as possible for the rest of my life. And if I could get away with it, I would keep Mikey as far away from her as possible for the rest of HIS life. As it is, she isn't even allowed to be in a room alone with him until he's nearly eighteen years old.

This has turned into general ranting about the mess that is part of my family, and I didn't mean it to do so. But that girl just makes my blood boil, and it's rare when I can coherently complain about one issue (the fact that she sent this "gift" without clearing it with me first) without going into all the other related issues.

And I think what pisses me off the most is that the rest of my family - save Matt, of course - thinks I'm being too hard on her. They think that she has a complete, unalienable right to Michael, to see him, to spend time with him, to have a relationship with him. And I completely disagree. I've had custody of him for eight of his nine years; I know what's best for him. Why can't anyone just accept that and support me - and what I believe - for once?

Anyway, off my soapbox for the moment.

We had Mikey's conferences tonight. They went well. We like his teacher, he's doing pretty well in school. He needs to read more, work on his comprehension - which will in turn help his math comprehension. His spelling is excellent (YAY!), he's one of the friendliest kids in the grade. It's always good to hear that. :D

And he's done with school for the week now - Thanksgiving on Thursday. Can't wait for turkey. And stuffing. And mashed potatoes, rice with almonds, green beans, cranberries...and pumpkin pie. Mmmm, pumpkin pie...

Comments

[kazzy24.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, honey that sucks.

I can understand your frustration, you have had Mikey from when he was tiny, and so for her to break the rules this way must be a complete slap in the face. *hugs*

However, even more sucky than that, remains the fact that Mikey is still too young to understand what his mother did, and until he is old enough to realise exactly what put her in jail, and why it was so awful - there is very little you can do. Most unfortunately, she is his mother. Biologically if nothing else.

No matter what you say to him, at some point the choice whether he wants some kind of relationship with her, will be his own, but whatever he decies to do when he is old enough - he won't ever forget that YOU are the one who brought him up and you will always be his mum. *hugs*

[wandaxmaximoff.livejournal.com]

Firstly, I agree with Karen. Whatever Mikey decides to do about his biological mum when he's an adult, he'll always love and respect you for bringing him up. I think the fact his school conferences went so well is proof of what a great parent you are.

As to your sister sending him a Christmas gift, I for one agree with you. She should have cleared it with you first. It doesn't matter what you or she wants, it's what Mikey needs that's important and it sounds as though only you and Matt really understand that.

It's a shame your family don't agree with you, and I can imagine how frustrating that would be. Hopefully they'll realize you're just doing what's best for Mikey though.

I hope the situation sorts it's self out *hugs*

Oh, Thanksgiving. I wish they celebrated it in England. I want an excuse to eat turkey and stuffing before Christmas! ^_~

Hope you and your family have a great Thanksgiving, and I hope things improve for you.

Hugs and Kisses
xxxx

[kitkats-lj.livejournal.com]

Erm, in now way at all does wanting the best for your son (and yes, he is your son! :D) make you a bitch. At all. Seriously.

I mean, I think Vivky has some right to contact Mikey, too, but, I understand that as his parents (assuming Matt is your hubby - ?) you and Matt are the only ones who really have any say and more importantly who really KNOW what is best. *hugs tight*

[kriz29.livejournal.com]

Awww, honey! That's awful. I agree with you 100%, she shouldn't be sending stuff without checking with you. You are the one who has taken care of Mikey since he was a baby, and your opinion is what matters. And I agree with Clare in saying that Mikey is doing very well just because you're an awesome parent. :) Someday Mikey may want to know his biological mother, but you are the one who raised him and he will never forget that. *hugs*