Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That

Tuesday afternoon I got a phone call with the pathology report for the endometrial biopsy. There is "evidence of some cancer." Also in some tissue from the cervix, but they are confident the origin is the uterine lining.

Next steps include a consultation to review records and establish a plan of care, set for Friday, 8 February. It's ALLLLL gotta come out. (Which, frankly, hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol.)

I will need to be out 3-4 weeks minimum for recovery, and possibly up to 6 weeks, depending on how they need to go in and get it. Guess that PTO payout from the previous job will come in handy - good thing we shoved it into savings.

I am not overly stressed about this diagnosis. There is literally NOTHING I can do, so losing my mind will help nothing, and only agitate loved ones further. My stress revolves solely around how many fucking needles they will be sticking me with.

Feel free to chant, pray, make sacrifices, dance naked in your backyard - whatever you prefer. I expect nothing, and am honestly quite (possibly irrationally) annoyed by the reactions of a few people. I'm not adjusting well to the attention, and I'm half expecting some of it to turn out to be about how it makes OTHERS feel; in a few instances, that already seems to be the case. The one time you would think I'm supposed to just think about my own needs for once, and instead I'm putting out fires and calming down the emotions of others. I'm sorry my body decided to be sick? I gave it a vegetable last week, I don't know what happened? *rolls eyes*

Someone had the audacity to tell me that - wait, wait, I have to go get it verbatim - "What you eat can have a big impact on your health, so let me know if you want more information on nutrition as a way to combat disease." I-. What? It's CANCER. What the SHIT is that going to do at this point? I get that I am overweight, but how is this helpful at this point? Why would she assume I don't know this already, and why would she think that was the kind of thing I wanted or needed to hear? I neither want nor need nutrition information, you twit. I want and need science and medical expertise, and for people to just offer help and be done with it. I ask for very little help as it is, I promise you won't actually have to do anything for me if it might at all inconvenience you.

I have promises from management at work that they have zero intentions of firing me, as everyone is so damn pleased with my work in this position so far. Especially other departments, which is apparently a huge deal. Definitely a good thing, and I may be able to work from home as I feel up to it during recovery, IF I feel up to it. They like me, they really like me! *snorts out a laugh*

Anyway, there's my news, and my hard and sarcastic (cold and heartless?) point of view on top of it. Sorry. I'm apparently extra bitchy today. I realize that I might have been extra bitchy for two full weeks. It might last a while. I'm only kind of sorry. *shrugs*

1. Been a while; work and life have kept me fairly exhausted.

2. I applied yesterday for the Contact Center job. We will have to wait and see what happens there.

3. I keep seeing the words "Yuletide" and "nominations." Internets, I am not brilliant enough this week (month?) to figure out what this means. Is it a contest? A gifting fic thing for the holidays? SOMEONE HELP ME UNDERSTAND, PLEASE.

4. I have next Thursday and Friday off and we're going out of town. Can't wait to get out of here.

5. I'm groggy and anti-work this morning, so I picked up my little container of bubbles and blew some. They're pretty, but one of them popped right back down on the wand and now I taste soap. Ick.

So OMGWTF are people smoking?! Like, seriously. I get in this morning and the first thing that happens? My mentally-disabled coworker apparently threw me under the bus in her "meeting" on the sixth by saying that I NEVER HELP HER OR EXPLAIN THINGS OR ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS FOR HER.

I wasn't angry, I'm still not, just mostly baffled! I know that she was lashing out, because she's afraid and doesn't really understand anything that's going on, and because it's a defense mechanism. But at the same time, JESUS, I hope when she was spouting those lies that the people hearing them were considering the source!

Already people who've heard about it are jumping to my defense, and angry on my behalf because I wasn't even here last week to defend myself. And there's been serious mishandling by the manager so far anyway, according to several people. I'm just - GAH. I need a different workplace, and I need it, like, yesterday.

I may start looking on other hospitals' websites for job postings, I don't know. There's certainly nothing in my own hospital, nor would I ever want to have to deal with this manager again. I'm so...fuck, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. It's not anger, it's not hate, it's not hurt...it's like a mixture of the three, but not even simmering. I'm...I am weary. I'm only 32 years old. I shouldn't be feeling like it's time to retire...and I just got back from vacation, for shit's sake.

ANTI-LGBT TEXAS REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM

I AM NOT AMUSED.



Thanks to superbeffie for the alert.

1. I've been lax about commenting the last five days or so, but bear with me - I'll get there. It's been a ridiculously busy week so far.

And I'm forgetful on top of it.

( It's the world's longest car, I swear. It reaches from Beale Street to Washington Square. And once you get in it To go where you're going, You simply get out, 'cause you're there. )

12. OK, I think I'm out of stuff to say for the moment. I think the majority of this needs to go behind a cut, because HELLO, RUN-ON-AT-THE-MOUTH DISEASE. Or I suppose that'd be fingers, since I'm typing, yes? *snerk* Either way...I used Shel Silverstein's poem "Longmobile" as the cut text, in case anyone was wondering.

1. Happy St. Patrick's day, flist! I haven't got a drop of Irish in me - and no, I don't particularly want any at the moment, thanks - but I'm wearing green anyway so as to avoid being pinched, because DAMN, people pinch hard! And as everyone is generally aware, I am pain-phobic. Because they always go for my upper arms! WTF is up with that?! God, those are the worst place EVER to poke me, pinch me, even TOUCH me with anything smaller than an entire hand. Ahem. Sorry, rant over.

2. It's Wednesday, but it feels like Tuesday. I want to say the time change is at fault for this, but it's really because I stayed home with Mike yesterday and it's apparently thrown me off. *rolls eyes at self*

3. A little bit of promo: the forum I participate on, Obliviate, is sorely in need of members. So few of our people go there now, and we've been contemplating shutting it down, which none of us really want. It's really not Harry Potter-oriented anymore - we discuss many various things, although it's harder when the four or five of us who still go there have said most of what we think already. We would LOVE some new blood in there, and I especially would enjoy it because I truly love it there and think that others would, too. We are friendly and welcoming and open; there's a serious/debate section and sections for books, movies, general lives and silly games. There's also an arcade with some fun games that are great for loosening the tension when you have a few minutes, and a market as well. Please feel free to check it out!

4. I went to Half-Price Books last week and found about twenty Betty Neels books - she's one of my very favorite Harlequin romance authors. I managed to narrow it down to four that I ended up buying, and I've now read every one of the four and added it to my swiftly-growing Betty Neels collection.

5. I also went to the library last Saturday and picked up The Screwtape Letters (CS Lewis) and The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho) since I never got around to picking them up the last time I had them on hold, Bridget Jones's Diary (Helen Fielding), What Jesus Meant: The Beautitudes and a Meaningful Life (Eric Kolbell), a website-building-for-dummies book, and Ballad: A Gathering of Faerie (Maggie Stiefvater).

I've gotten a few pages into Bridget Jones and been giggling, and last night I opened and read several pages of The Alchemist, which is lovely so far. I also have What Jesus Meant in my shoulder bag because I really do want to read it and will be more inclined to do so if there's nothing else in there to distract me while I'm out.

I've got maybe a chapter or two left of Born Round and still have From the Kingdom of Memory and The Golden Compass to be getting on with, as well.

Why, oh WHY do I keep checking out so many books? I'm telling you, it's a sickness. Can I just please move into the library?

6. Huh. I think that's everything for the moment! I hope you all have a wonderful day!

US Soldier Waterboards 4-Year-Old Daughter Because She Can't Recite the Alphabet

Why does this shock me? I know people are capable of this, but just-. My heart breaks for this little girl, for any child abused like this or in any other way.

asdf;lkj

It feels like there's 8436546421873541 things going on, and going wrong. I know it happens to other people too, but just-.

( This and That )

OK, that's all. I think...

Sorry to hear you are having a rough night of homework. The math can be confusing. Math nowadays is taught very differently than when we were in school, and the expectations of 5th grade learning are much higher too. I will get time with Mikey tomorrow and go over the work. Don't worry about it tonight.

As far as the math text... We have textbooks, but they aren't the kind of book that explains things. The first sheet attached to the homework sheet is actually the textbook copied off for the students so they can take notes on it to help them with homework. Not the best scenario, but it's the best we have :(

Hope this helps some. If it makes you feel better, we are moving on to geometry next week :)

Thanks for contacting me! That's what I'm here for.

I have to say, I love teachers who understand why it's frustrating and who get back to you very quickly.

My response to this:

Thanks for the math reassurance. It's all I can do not to just chuck it off the balcony. It's also kind of humiliating to admit to your own kid that you can't help him because you're not really smart enough for it. I know that's not the intent, I know that times change, but that's what it feels like from our end.

And thanks for being so quick to get back to us; I'd be worried all night and all tomorrow that he'd get in trouble for not doing it when the truth is that we simply couldn't help him.

Thanks so much!

Someone on my FaceBook friends posted this link earlier today, and I felt the need to comment here.

Pencils, anyone?

YUCK. I mean, to each his or her own, but just-. No. Note to hubby: Please don't turn me into pencils, honey, OK? Just donate all my usable organs and then bury me someplace pretty.

Thoughts, anyone?