Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That

Journaling always, always falls to the wayside first when life gets busy on me, but maybe it shouldn't. It's a good outlet, with the opportunity for others who don't necessarily see me every day to provide some different viewpoints, tell me when I'm over-reacting or commiserate when they GET. IT.

That said, it's been ages since I updated properly.

Boychild isn't so much "child" anymore. He is 20 years old. He works 35 hours or so a week, and is at the community college for classes; he just began his second semester.

Husband is getting himself back on the diet wagon, but is otherwise well.

Work has changed quite a bit. In October, an opportunity opened up for a bit of a shift. I never, ever thought I'd leave my job, but I interviewed and was offered the position, and after a lot of weighing the pros and cons, benefits and retirement and everything, I made the change.

I'm at a different hospital system now, being paid more than I ever could have hoped to make at the old place. It sounds all fancy, "External Audits & Appeals Coordinator." Basically, it means all the payer-initiated audits go through me; I also function as an analyst, which means I get to be helpful with the knowledge I already possess.

Every job has its pros and cons, but so far I'm enjoying it. *thumbs up* And I am definitely enjoying the paychecks. It is a SIGNIFICANT increase.

I'm sure I have more, but will have to post it as I think of it.

Hope you're having a great day!

I say it every time, but it's true every time: it's been AGES since I last posted.

So much has happened, though looking back at it, it seems like piddly stuff.

Also, I forgot how to code a cut, so I apologize in advance for the length.

Boychild: IS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Seriously, where the eff does the time go?! He VOTED in November. (Not for the JOKE currently in office, TYVM. Kid is a hard-ass lefty. Why, yes - I AM proud of it.)

He also has been on meds since about September of 2015; he definitely hits the ADHD scale, though noticeably without the H. Doc's got him on 20 mgs of Adderall a day, with 5 mg supplements as needed after school for homework. It has definitely helped to start, though he may actually need to up it a little, as we are still having to drag him through getting homework turned in and remembering things.

Hubby: Had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in March 2015. He's since lost about 200 lbs, can buy clothes at regular stores now, and no longer hits the diabetic scale. He was off all diabetic meds within a couple months of the surgery. He is basically the poster boy for "Doing This Right;" I've never seen a surgeon bounce on his toes with pleasure before.

He's hit a plateau now, and has fallen off the diet changes a little, but is getting back on track now with this unseasonably nice weather. It's been a total life change for him, and he's really happy about all of it.

Me & Food: As part of the process (and in the name of being supportive), I started watching my diet, too. I hated every effing second of it and it didn't matter that I continued to lose weight, it took all the effing joy out of food and I hated everyone and everything. We bond over food, come together as a society over food, and having to watch it carefully like that - and deny myself of everything I love because everything that tastes good to me is "bad" - is the absolute worst. And it was harder, too, because Hubby was having the easiest time of it, and couldn't understand how it could possibly be difficult. I stayed silent about a lot of my anger over it.

I had actually started losing weight the previous August (2014); suffice it to say I had a week where Imodium was not working, so I just had to suffer through it. I must have lost ten to fifteen pounds that week alone, and so I continued to lay off the soda so much and stopped eating the snack cakes and stuff entirely. So when hubby started his pre-op diet, I started actually using the My Fitness Pal app every day, and it mostly sucked. I was almost always hungry, meals generally did not last me till the next one. I had enough calories available to me that I could have snacks, but I really had to watch it. I'd switched to diet sodas, which sucks because they all taste terrible, but I want soda more than I want to avoid the taste, and regular soda has too many calories, so-.

Since then, I've lost a total of about 80 lbs, give or take 5, and gone down 6 pants sizes and 3 shirt sizes (depending on the brand). Other noticeable changes are that I can sit in a chair with arms and the arms no longer dig into my thighs, and all my rings are too big, as they keep sliding around my fingers willy-nilly.

I don't religiously record my calories each day, and I stopped denying myself of all the things I love, because I've always said that's no way to diet. I do try to be very reasonable about how much I eat, and I try to avoid too much bread, because it's a freaking killer (even though it's OMGSODELICIOUS). I may not be actively losing weight now, but I'm also not gaining it back, so I'm much happier. We try to walk more, too.

Work: Never dull. I've done so much since my last work-related post. We've lost two supervisors, a manager, another supervisor, and plenty of people have retired because they just couldn't deal with the stress anymore. Another one is leaving in the next 45 days or so. It's sad, but maybe it will help mgmt (wishful thinking, right?) to reorganize the way they want. Some things are better, others are as bad as usual. But hey, I've got 18 years under my belt now, and am currently only minorly stressed, so I'll stick with it.

Also, I now work from home full time. It's AWESOME. They provided us zero clients, two monitors, keyboard, mouse, all necessary wires, a really decent phone with a headset, and anything off our desks we needed; I came home with well over $1.5K worth of equipment. We have flex time on top of this, so as long as I get my 40 hours in M-F between 6A and 6P, I can do it almost any way I like. This, of course, means I roll out of bed around 5:45 in the morning, lurch into the bathroom, pull on pants and shirt, then stumble to my desk, turn on the computer, and clock in by 6:00 AM. It is the BEST THING EVER.

I might not have gone home full time, though, without my two best friends leaving. One (CK) quit September 2014...about 3 hours after I unwittingly provided the clinching argument for it. He is SO. MUCH. HAPPIER. now; it is amazing how relaxed he is now without this place eating holes in his stomach lining, among other things. We try to get out for lunch or dinner (and in one case, breakfast) every other month or so, and chat via FB messenger quite a bit - which is good, because it took me a long time to get used to not having him there at work.

And in November 2015, the other (MG) quit. Also a good thing, she was much happier at a new place - understandably, as my current coworkers, by and large, were absolute DICKS to her the entire time she was employed. An old supervisor (who, incidentally, was fired for having sex on her desk and bragging about it, and also for calling someone in mgmt a "bitch" in an email that replied to all instead of one person) had actually known MG, and told everybody so, and so most people assumed MG only got the job because she knew said supervisor...and everyone hated that supervisor, to be clear. It was awful. So MG finally left, but now I can't even see her like I used to because she moved out of state in December 2016. So sad.

Other Stuff: Dad had a heart attack Thanksgiving night, but is doing okay now; it wasn't massive, and the blockages, which range anywhere from 30-80%, are all down in the smaller vessels at the bottom of the heart, where they can't put stents anyway, so they're treating medically. He's doing taxes again for H&R Block, managing only one office this year instead of two. And thrilled as hell, because he and Mom turn 62 this year and are taking early Social Security, so he won't have to work at all next year.

Mom's doing well; good days and bad days with fibro and diabetes. She had a month-long bout with seizures in August 2013, but hasn't had any since then, and is now off the seizure med entirely. She's mostly back to baseline (by which I mean she feels as good as she did before the seizures, but has less of a filter). The seizures at the time seemed to have caused a metric shit-ton of brain damage, but she gained all of her faculties back for the most part.

One of my sisters is pregnant with her fourth child, another had her second a few years ago. Yet another is happily living with her boyfriend. And the other one is still living with our parents.

TV: Missing DWTS right about now, but loving BBT still, as well as Flash, Mom, Two Broke Girls, and Brooklyn 9-9. Also really enjoying The Grand Tour on Amazon. Have also finally started watching bits and pieces of HIMYM with Boychild. Pretty good.

Man, I forgot how time can fly when you're typing up a post like this!

I hope everything is well with all of you! ♥

Okay, so.

I am feeling stupid and useless and sheepish and embarrassed about this. I shouldn't, it's not my fault, it's not his fault, blah blah blah, but--.

Does anybody have any knowledge or suggestions or experience or opinions with getting a child tested for possible mental or emotional disorders?

I am--. I don't even know how to explain. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

Boychild is fourteen years old, but there is so very little he does that makes me think he is developing normally. Hubby is finally starting to see my point, and I just. I don't know what to do. Do I take him to his regular doctor first? It's not physical, but does that matter? I am just at a loss.

This kid cannot ever answer a question with more than "I don't know" or "Meh" and a shrug. When we ask him what he's thinking, he is at a loss for words and cannot tell us. He hates reading, sincerely believes we are punishing him when we expect him to do so, but swears up one side and down the other that reading is not hard for him. He cannot understand vocabulary that I know eight-year-olds can grasp (he had to ask today what "extra-mild" meant!!!!), and his social skills are on par with kindergarteners.

I love that he is a fairly happy kid, but he is FOURTEEN, not six!! I love that he is not embarrassed to be seen with us and that he is affectionate and loving, but he thinks it is appropriate to group hug in the middle of a grocery store aisle and giggles like a lunatic when we try to inform him seriously that now is not the time. Which, of course, makes me feel like a slug. BUT FOURTEEN!!!

He repeatedly tells the same jokes over and over again, long after everyone is sick and tired of hearing them, and never grasps that no one is laughing anymore. Then he gets upset when someone tells him it's not funny anymore and says that no one ever thinks he's funny! I don't get it!

We still have to tell him - every single morning - that he must put on deodorant. He has needed to do so since he was nine. Should he not be doing it on his own by now? We have to remind him, and then he does it extremely grudgingly. He likes showers, but has never once taken one of his own volition. We have to tell him to do so, and he sighs like we're expecting him to bring us the moon. He seems perfectly happy being filthy. How is that even remotely normal for a teenage boy?

He continues to do things we've repeatedly asked him not to do, and laughs like it's hilarious when we get upset that he's doing it again.

I feel so angry with him all the time, and I hate it so much. But I feel that this goes so far beyond my own impatience. There is something so very, very wrong, and I don't know where to start looking for help. Looking at the criteria list for ADD and ADHD, I think that he doesn't hit the ADHD requirements, but he does hit every. single. item. on the ADD list, but I just don't think that explains everything.

So. Please. Tell me your thoughts. Tell me your experiences if applicable, and your ideas and suggestions. I am starting to think that we must be unfit parents. I'm not looking for reassurance or accolades or anything like that, just-. I am so not equipped for this. Help us. Please. If he needs help, I want to get it for him. I just don't know how.

I am flailing a bit at the thought of typing up All The Words. I haven't posted in ages, it seems - indeed, I am not even certain when my last post WAS. Summer. Probably.

Shall we see if I can sumarize?

1. Boychild started seventh grade and turned 13. Same curriculum, but new school, new approach to classes (he's got eight different ones and has to move between them, whereas in previous years it's been one teacher and mostly the same classroom). There has been much struggling, both for him and for us, and tears on both sides to prove it. Things are smoothing out some now, but it's going to be a work in progress.

( A little grainy, as I saved it from hubby's FB with my phone, sorry... )

2. Work is...better. I am still swamped, both overloaded and manager-admitted-underpaid, but-. Changes - big ones - are in the works. I just got my yearly review today, and it was actually really, really good. I was given more info than my other coworkers are being given because the manager is expecting bigger things from me. As a result, I feel very secure in my position, and am aware that doors will be opened in various ways soon, and all I have to do is step through them. I can be open minded, and he is aware that he'll need to give me details in some areas. I'm not feeling the need to seek employment elsewhere, so as far as I'm concerned, things are looking so much better than they were a year ago, even six months ago.

3. Dad had gastric bypass at the beginning of September. He's lost 70 pounds so far, has already lost several clothing sizes, is back into a belt he hasn't been able to use for five years, and is *this far* from being considered "no longer diabetic." This is a HUGE deal, and means that the surgery was really the right thing for him.

4. Sister number three (child number four of the five of us) went through extensive psychiatric testing over the last several months, and the results are in - she will never be able to hold down any kind of meaningful work, or be a functioning member or society. She will probably always live with my parents. While the diagnosis vexes me (I do not pretend to understand how depression or mental illness work), at least now she can apply for disability benefits and possibly bring in *something* to help with my parents' expenses.

5. Sister number two (child three) had her baby girl at the end of August. Eja Alessandra was born 25 August at 12:30 AM EST, 5 pounds, 10.2 ounces and 19 inches long. She was healthy at birth and mom came through it better than her first one. A day later, some kind of enzyme or something stopped working or started working or (Jesus, can we tell I'm not even remotely clued in to illness-related stuff?!) whatever, and baby had a partially collapsed lung, among other things. It was touch and go for a couple days, and then my sister and her hubby moved the baby to a children's hospital, where she immediately began improving. God bless children's hospitals, as well as their incredible staff!! Eja is happy and healthy now, and getting bigger each day.

( A few pictures of my pretty niece! )

6. Try not to pass out with this news: I am going to the doctor today. Not for most of the things I should also probably be seen for, but-. Last month, my right elbow started hurting. It only took a day or two for it to shift and spread down the outer part of my forearm and into my outer wrist and the ring and pinky fingers.

It's affecting my work speed; it hurts to add more than a couple pages of figures. Typing too long hurts. Sometimes writing - the act of holding the pen itself - hurts. And lots of other things are affected, too: I can't really open my own soda bottles anymore, or lift a pot of pasta to drain it, etc. I get out of having to help carry in the groceries, but that's not exactly a trade-off I can fully enjoy, as it hurts to do a host of other things I never actually realized used those particular areas.

I had to wait to be seen, unfortunately, but the day is here, so we'll see what's what, hopefully. Everything I've read points me away from carpal tunnel and mostly in the direction of tennis elbow, but again - we'll see what's what.

( On the TMI scale... )

7. We had our week at the lake in August, which was lovely, and we just had a long weekend up in Duluth, which for the first time ever was GORGEOUS, weather-wise. I would LOVE to live up there. I never, ever get tired of it, even in the rain and gloom and snow. There weren't many leaves left on the trees, but the ones that were there were that stunning autumn red.

8. I've been writing quite a bit, working on my next-gen HP piece I started years ago. I'm revamping quite a bit and writing new scenes, too, and enjoying every second of it. Speaking of HP, one of these days I should post another of my one-shots.

9. Um. I think that's everything? If you'd like me to expand on anything, please let me know! I am reading entries, but haven't commented in ages; I will work on that, but am making no promises as we head into the ever-busy holiday season. Please know that I read you all and am thinking about you. ♥

Good gravy, this year has seemed like such a whirl of activity. I'm finally, finally feeling like I maybe don't have to be everywhere at every moment, and things have calmed down here and there a bit.

1. Work has been SO MUCH BETTER since we got shifted over to the new manager. She is very, very smart and extremely fast-paced, but it's not overwhelming at all because she listens to us, has made a point to be very open and up-front with us about changes (whether or not they impact us) in the department we're now a part of, and is making another point to learn WHY we do things the way we do.

She's expressed to me that she values me and what I do so highly that, should layoffs come around again and our area is under the microscope, she will fight tooth and nail to keep me. That's a big load off my shoulders, believe me.

The only bad thing, really, is that we still have nine months to go before Mr. Useless retires his ass out of here for good. At this point, it's just about waiting him out, and occasionally bitching out frustrations as needed. *rolls eyes*

2. Boychild "graduated" from sixth grade on June 8, and with the best report card we've seen in a while. Reading every week really paid off for him, much as he hates it, so one of the few rules we placed on him for the summer is that he must read one chapter and summarize it every single day. He just finished The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe yesterday, and is starting Prince Caspian today.

He is trying very, very hard not to admit it, but he really did enjoy the book. ♥

His other rule for the summer is that he must learn to ride the bike his Oma picked up for him. He is twelve, and it is high time. He is fighting it with every breath in him - he has got some kind of mental block about putting his feet on those pedals. We made sure the bike was of a size that the seat could be lowered enough to keep his feet flat on the ground, because that gives a modicum of control to him in terms of not falling over. But while we can get him on it and he can walk himself along and even get up a bit of speed and balance enough to coast ten and fifteen feet, the idea of actually putting his feet on the pedals - even though they can touch the ground any time he wants! - sends him into panic mode. I do not get it. Thoughts? Suggestions?

3. Chapter is Dark! WOOT. This means I have two months ahead of me in which all I have to do is print out labels for a grand officer reception and collect mail. Steph took charge of the newsletter, so now all I have to do with it is check her editing and item placement, and she does all the rest. YAY!

4. I finished my hp_porninthesun piece, and am so pleased with it. That's the second fest I've participated in, and it's definitely fun being a writer. I've forgotten - both times - that there is someone else writing something for me, too! I get so excited to see what people think of what I wrote that it doesn't even register that I'll get my own gift. And I love that.

Speaking of writing, I've been wanting to post my fanfic on my journal. BUT-. I don't want to force anyone to read it, so I've been toying with the idea of setting up a filter so people can opt out if they want. Much as I'd love it, not everyone is into Harry, and even those who are seem to have moved beyond it into other fandoms sometimes, so-. You know.

5. I have pictures of my plants! ... On my phone. Once I figure out how to get them OFF my phone, I'll post them. I finally have tiny tomatoes growing! And my green beans are sprouting! YAY!

That's all I can think of for now, especially as it's go-home time. Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of posting regularly - I miss it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAHAHAAAHHAAHAHAAHHAAA!!¡!!!!11!!1!1!!!!

Boychild is in bed with me tonight, and we are discussing how girls' bodies change during puberty. He's following along fine until:

Me: So the ovary releases one egg -
Boychild: An egg?
Me: Yes; it's about the size of the period at the end of a sentence.
Boychild: ...Yeah, but what font?

THIS IS IMPORTANT CHIZ RIGHT HERE, KIDS!!!!

*dies laughing*

So, first things first:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I wish all the best for each of you this year!

And now with that said, as far as I'm concerned, 2011 can JUST GO FUCK ITSELF.

Some of you already know about my year so far, but most of you don't, so here, quick recap:

New Year's Eve was rung in with me in bed with a moaning and groaning, tummy-achy Boychild. He was puking and couldn't do a number 2, and didn't want anything touching his belly. We thought it was very similar to his stomach flu last April, and called the nurse line on Saturday morning (New Year's Day) to get an opinion. They told us to go to the Children's hospital to the ER because it might be appendicitis.

Sure enough, Boychild had his appendix out that evening - and apparently, so did my aunt. How weird is that?!

Anyway, we spent that night in the hospital, went home the next day. Kept him home Monday, and Tuesday, and were back in the ER Tuesday night because he was having pain that wasn't getting better. After six hours or so, some pee in a cup, some Xrays and a few CAT scans, everything was normal and we went back home. Stayed home with him again Wednesday.

Over those few days, a nasty cold was developing for me, and while we sent Boychild back to school on Thursday, I stayed home because I was feverish and lightheaded from all the coughing. Managed two hours of work on Friday before being ordered home by the manager.

Felt better Saturday. Had some fabulously authentic El Salvador cuisine for lunch, enjoyed some time bumming around a bit. Got the ingredients I was missing for making chorag (Armenian tea bread) - which turned out gorgeously for a first attempt on Sunday, thankyouverymuch - and just generally had a really nice day on Saturday till 7:30 PM, when MY WALLET WAS STOLEN.

We actually don't know if it fell out of my coat pocket and someone found it or if it was actually grabbed from my pocket, but-.

They cleaned out our bank account over the course of Saturday evening and Sunday (yesterday). Apparently, I didn't really think people could be so carelessly indecent, which is why I'm so, so upset over this.

Canceled the check card Sunday morning and filed a police report, went through the motions.

So anyway, went to the bank this morning right when it opened, and they've been very good to us. Started the process, reversed all the charges and resulting overdraft fees; they'll also keep an eye on still-pending transactions for us, and the girl gave us her card and told us to also keep our eyes on it and let her know anything that seems off.

In the Small Favors department, my Social Security card was NOT in there, and we didn't have credit cards in there. Some debit cards, but they all require a PIN to be used, and the PIN isn't written anywhere. Canceled them anyway to be sure, but am reasonably certain they'd be useless.

Have to go get a new ID this coming weekend, and still call the library, among other places.

Our Relative Custody Assistance check was in my wallet, too, so hopefully the idiots didn't try cashing it; we'll have to get it reissued. And of course, the one person I need to talk to about it hasn't bothered to return my call yet.

My head wants to explode. And dammit, I LIKED that wallet.

I've said it once and I will say it again: PEOPLE are my pet peeve.

It's been a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad YEAR. I think I'll move to Australia.

1. Just had a sobbing phone call from my sister; apparently Mom and Dad just left to take the dog to be put down. The medication wasn't helping at all, the dog refuses to eat and the surgery wouldn't be worth it.

I am full of sympathy for my mom and my sister because I know that they really loved Sami. At the same time, I am relieved, both for the dog's sake - she will not be suffering anymore - and for the sake of their household budget, which really cannot withstand a pet's illness.

EDIT: It took me so long to type up this post that the deed is done. Dad just texted me to say Mom's devastated, but that it was her own decision, so while I am so, so sorry she's hurting, I am pleased that she was able to see - and make - the right choice.

2. I wonder how long it will be before Dad gives in and lets Mom get another dog.

3. We went to Boychild's school yesterday after I was done with work. He has decided he wants to be in band, and after several weeks of learning to play the recorder and then trying out different instruments, he has tested very well in low brass, specifically in the baritone. Added to that, he actually really likes the feel of the baritone, both holding it and using the mouthpiece.

Going into this, he thought he'd want to do percussion or trombone, and was leaning toward trombone. He decided, however, that he didn't like the way the trombone rests on the one shoulder, and prefers the baritone.

So at his school last night was the company the school goes through for band instruments, and we were able to rent a baritone. It's actually a really good idea; we paid $65 for a four-month trial period, which includes any necessary maintenance, and after that, it's $42 a month, plus $5.95 if we want the maintenance plan to continue. And every payment - including that original $65 - is applied toward the purchase of the instrument, though we are not at all obligated to purchase it. AND if we want to pay it off early, we get a 20% discount on the remaining balance, and there's no interest at all during the life of the rental period.

The only thing that was kind of a shock was the total price of the instruments - my GOD, have they gone up since I was first in band!! A new baritone retails at around $1595. We could have gone with "like new," but at $1395, we didn't quite see the point - he may as well have a new one.

But price aside, I'm really glad he wants to be in band; I think music is so important, and of course both hubby and I were band geeks ourselves. It's kind of lovely to see the tradition continuing.

4. I kind of want to see if I can find a secondhand flute and maybe take some lessons again. I still have my piccolo, but it needs a complete overhaul...and besides, I should really relearn what I've forgotten on a flute, first.

5. We get to do the bulk of our Christmas shopping this weekend; my stability pay came in yesterday and payday is this Friday, so Saturday will be fun. Now I just need to make a frigging master list so all the info is in one place - HEE!

We have picked up a few things here and there already, of course, but the majority of the fun is yet to come. ;)

6. OHMYGOD. This cocoa is AMAZING. We had a holiday party on Sunday and one of the take-home things were packets of hot cocoa; I got one that's DARK CHOCOLATE, and I just made it, and I think my eyes crossed with unadulterated joy.

I was going to post pictures this weekend, and I completely forgot. So I will post them tonight or tomorrow night, and for now, just do a basic update.

( Life, the Universe and Everything. )

8. Back to the grind today, but it's a quiet day, as Evil Manager is out, so I'm enjoying the quiet. I hope everyone is having a lovely Monday!