Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That

OK, so I found a job with another hospital network for which I think I could actually be a contender. But I have a few misgivings. Not about the job itself, but about leaving here.

( tl;dr ahead )

Thoughts? Points I'm missing? What do you think? Besides, of course, that I'm plum crazy...

It's 2:16 PM and I am nearly asleep here at my desk. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why.

Once the EVILCRAMPSFROMHELL morphed from "severe" into "tolerable" last night, I got plenty of sleep. Even getting up three times to go to the bathroom.

You know, of my 28 Vicodin pills, I've only taken six and a half. Since Monday. And none of them actually made me tired. Do you think they're all catching up with me now?

I wondered, because I keep catching myself doing that head-bob thing that my dad does in church - or at other various functions - when he's bored senseless. And then you nudge him and he wakes up and wipes the corner of his mouth because he's realized there's a little bit of drool there and goes, "Huh-whaaaa?" And you say, "Wake up, you were sleeping." And he retorts, "Nuh-uh, I was praying." Very seriously, like he fully believes God will buy it.

Anyway, I keep catching myself doing that at my desk. My mouth and my uterus are ganging up on me right now, but I'm afraid to take another half Vicodin (I haven't taken any at all yet today) because what if it has me sprawled across my desk, no longer head-bobbing and catching myself at it, but flat out sleeping with drool pooling beneath my cheek? Because for real, I drool when I sleep.

Oooh, news flash, Chunk just brought me a bite of his cake. Heather brought him cake while he was on lunch and told me to tell him it was from her and so I put a note on it that said "from Heather! Yummy! I want some, too." And he just brought it to me and let me have a bite. I just wanted the frosting because OMFGFROSTING, HELLO. It was good.

But seriously, now - do I avoid the half a Vicodin? Because I'm back to head-bobbing.

1. It's Friiiiiiiddaaaaaaayyyy!!!

I tell you, this week has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I thought that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday EACH FELT LIKE MONDAY. Then, to be irritating, yesterday felt like Friday. Imagine my shock and horror to discover it was only actually Thursday and I still had today to get through before the weekend!

2. SO ANYWAY. It's Friday, and I talked my supervisor into letting me out of here early. Like, I get to go home in an hour and a half. Which, let's face it, is good; I'm fairly useless today, anyway.

3. We leave tomorrow morning AT 5:30, ZOMG to drive up to Mikey's camp. We're picking him up there. I'm excited to see him, to see how the week went for him. Don't get me wrong, though - I have loved every second of this quiet week. It'll be hard to give up, but it'll also be nice to have him home.

4. Two weeks ago we did the whole 4th of July thing, saw fireworks and grilled with my parents and sister. Well, when they went home, I guess some of their neighbors were setting off their own fireworks, and they all went outside to watch. Well my mother, colossal klutz that she is, went back inside to go to bed, and tripped down the last two stairs. She finally went to the doctor just this last Monday (the 12th), AND SHE SPRAINED AN ANKLE ON ONE SIDE AND BROKE HER FOOT ON THE OTHER!!! Good Christ, the woman is an accident magnet, I tell you.

So of course, she's having issues getting around, but-. She'll still be able to come up to the lake in a few weeks, but she won't be able to go in it.

The only good thing about it at all, of course, is that I'll have a good reason for telling her she CANNOT come grocery shopping with me the first day to get all the food! *HEE*

5. It's 11:11. Make a wish.

I did not get the job.

BUT.

I'm neither surprised nor horribly upset. It was a good phone call. Greg (the only guy on the interviewing panel and one of the assistant nursing managers) said that for never having done a panel interview, I did really well and my skills were really great, and the whole panel was just very, very impressed with the questions I asked at the end. He said that he is absolutely positive that I could do this type of job, but feels that the size of the department and the time frame available before the existing person retires will make the learning curve too steep even for me, because I don't actually have the experience and I'd be the ONLY. ONE. doing the job. He also said that he thinks it's awesome that I took the risk to apply and interview for such an ambitious position, and hopes I'll keep trying.

He was even worried and asked me if I was OK. I was, and told him that I was really glad to hear the feedback, and also pleased to have received a phone call as opposed to one of those "WE REJECT YOU, LOSER" letters. And I really am OK with this. I was very apprehensive about calling him back (the assistant nursing manager) when he left the message on my cell this afternoon, because I was worried that he was going to offer me the job, so I know it's right that I didn't get it.

I called hubby to tell him, and explained that now that I have a proper, impressive resume, and a fresh, recent interview under my belt, I'm more confident about looking outside the place as well as inside. And he was bummed for me, but understands that I'm OK with it. And he even pointed out that now would be a good time to go to Jim, to go to Victoria and say, "Look, things have to change."

And almost as if the fates are finally in accordance for once, Victoria had Jim and I in her office this morning to discuss how things are going with the new director, changes we have to be making and areas where we need to stand up and not be worried about people not liking us because we need to be firm about new rules and regulations that are being put in place. She also said that many of my Mentally Disabled Child's mistakes are finally coming to light and can be used as examples, and HR is wanting to seriously consider moving her to someplace better suited to her skills so we can get someone competent in here. We'll have to see how that goes, but for now, it's a start.

Jim mentioned to me after I told him about not getting the job that he's relieved I'm not leaving him in the lurch now, and that he can start on his "plan B," which involves working toward bumping both my title and my pay. I made sure he understood, too, that I wasn't even concerned about the money portion of it, but about the principle of the thing. It's flat-out WRONG that I should know more, do more and be a lead over four to six people - for over a YEAR now - yet have a lower job class and pay range than three of them.

I don't expect a lot to happen in that area, of course, but it means a lot to me that of his own volition, he's going to work on getting a satisfactory result. I do not feel that I should have to run crying to the union to get something I should have been given to begin with.

And, of course, not getting that job means I can still have my vacation in August. WOOT!!

Anyway, just wanted to update everyone - thanks so much for all the support and thoughts and prayers. It is greatly appreciated and I love you all. ♥♥♥♥♥

OK, gang; I'm off to my interview in TWENTY MINUTES.

I've got a few notes on common questions, as well as a list of good questions of my own to ask. I've had three people check it all and make sure it's all good stuff. I've got a fresh copy of my resume in a folder, along with a clean sheet of paper with my references printed on it. I'm dressed professionally and I have the all-important heels on (because seriously, they absolutely add a metric shit-ton of class to any outfit I'm wearing simply by being on my feet). I did my makeup at lunchtime (I generally don't bother) so it's fresh and looks good and I haven't had the chance to stick my fingers in my eyes and muss it up yet. I just dumped three Altoids into my mouth for that minty-fresh breath thing. I do not have perfume on. None of my fingernails are broken or look awful. My hair is as tamed as it is going to get. I am not bringing my purse or my cell phone, only the folder and my small pad of paper and a pen.

TEN MINUTES. I sincerely hope I'm not forgetting anything.

WISH ME LUCK. ♥

OK, here's the deal: I found a job opening within my company that I think I could totally do. I checked with a few people whose opinions I trust, and among them, they not only think I could absolutely do it, but that the hiring managers would be idiots not to take me. Don't worry, I am not letting these opinions swell my head.

After also informing my poor supervisor that I was thinking of applying, he read the listing and said, "Oh my God, do it." I think it breaks his heart a little, because I know he needs me, which breaks my heart a little, but-.

So, on to applying. It gives me OPTIONS. I can "upload a new resumé," "copy and paste resumé text," or "apply online without a resumé."

Problems:

1. What's the better plan, here? Do I use a resumé, or apply online without one? I'm already an employee of the company; this would be a promotion (two job classes above my own), but I wouldn't be an outside applicant.

2. I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MYSELF SOUND WORTH IT IN A RESUMÉ!!!

3. I have to apply by Thursday, which is when the job listing closes.

PEOPLE WITH RESUMÉ OR HIRING EXPERIENCE - PLEASE HELP ME!

I'm actually very aware that I may not get the job, nor are my hopes hanging on being accepted - but if I do this, then I want to make an effort and know that even if I'm not offered the job, it wasn't because I was too stupid to know how to do these things.

You know, of the few people I work directly with each and every day, I am the baby - but somehow, I am also the most mature. I know, crazy, right?

( I am not paid enough for this. )

I can has winning lottery ticket now?

I don't have any desire to be wealthy - I only need enough to support my family while I quit and look for a better job. *sigh*

I've had lots of thoughts the last few days, but they're kind of jumbled together in one big mess in my head. Attempting to unravel, then:

1. Everyone should read this: Own Your Awesome. Just go, read it.

2. Diana Gabaldon on fanfic. Seriously?! Her stuff is hardly worth the effort it takes to get out the door to go find it, for shit's sake. She's since issued another post, but it's a useless bit of internet, if you ask me.

3. I was feeling queasy this morning. I still am a little bit, but at least it's better right now. I really think I need to work on what and how much I eat every day, because this is getting ridiculous.

4. We registered the boychild for a summer camp. He goes in July for a week, about 2 hours north of here. It's a Christian camp, but more on par with what we were hoping for, AND it's $245 (as opposed to the asinine $400 and up being charged elsewhere). I still think $245 is pretty ridiculous (that's STILL more than we spend on groceries in a month!), but it's MUCH easier to swallow.

5. We found a church we're going to try this Sunday. Thoughts will be forthcoming.

6. Dear Coworker:

Every single time we schedule a training session, you agree to it, then are gone or schedule a doctor appointment for the same time and don't bother to tell me. I am sick to death of your stupid, selfish games and the union isn't going to protect you much longer when you keep abusing every privilege you have.

My patience with you is absolutely gone, and you are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very times INFINITY lucky that I need this job, or I would have slapped you silly a long, long, long, long, LONG TIME AGO.

Get over yourself, stop behaving like you're a victim and STAY AWAY FROM ME, because I have HAD IT.

No love - not even any LIKE -
The One With Whom You Really Should Have Made An Effort

P.S. Oh, and our mutual supervisor and manager? They're on MY side, you ignorant cow.

7. I can't even begin to explain all the things that make the aforementioned coworker an absolute NIGHTMARE to work with! My tolerance level is shockingly low to begin with, and she's so far beyond it, I can't even look at her without rage just burning a hole through my brain.

8. Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called Everybody, and they meet at the bar. DREW CAREY.

9. Yesterday was Star Wars Day - May the Fourth be with you! *LMAO* I know I'm late with it, but all the same-. ;)

10. I should probably have put all this behind a cut, but I just can't be arsed today. Sorry. I still love you all. ♥

I feel icky today. I woke up around 4:30 this morning with those icky burps - the ones that feel and taste and smell like throw-up. I've been queasy ever since then. Urgh.

I don't have the burps anymore, but I just FEEL bloaty and gassy and YUCK. I was hoping it would be Saturday, but no such luck, hmm? Suckish. It may have been an effect of eating dinner so late last night, but late dinners don't usually affect me. Hopefully it goes away soon.

We went to see Dad last night in the hospital. He's in really good spirits and looks like he feels fine; he's in the ridiculous hospital garb and little bootie slippers, and has IV hookups sticking out of his hand, which I couldn't even look at, for shit's sake, but he didn't look small and insignificant and lost, like so many people do when they're sick and in the hospital.

He expects to be let out today at some point, they did part of his stress test yesterday and were going to finish it up today. I'm not really worried or anything, but I'll be glad when he's back home all the same.

I'm irritated and cranky about a number of things today, and the day in general seems to be conspiring against me. It says, "You need to learn some things, child, and overcome difficulties. And I will drag you, kicking and screaming if I must, through to tomorrow, whether you learn and overcome or not. Sucker."

/pissfest

SO. It's nearly the weekend. How are all of you doing?

I have a friend from college I've been chatting more recently with, and I'm close to talking her into joining Obliviate and signing up with LJ or DW. I told her Obliviate would be a good place to start, to meet people and make some friends, and she needs that right now. I'm nearly there; her difficulties with any of it lie in actually finding time to feel like it matters. I know how it goes.

OK, I better pretend to work for a while. I swear, I've done jack SHIT this week. I need to get on the ball, here.